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Estonian language in Family Guy

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Mr Greenin uusi virtuaalinen live-casino – hitti vai huti?

Blackjack, ruletti, baccarat, pöytäpokerit… Jos olet joskus vieraillut Helsingin Grand Casinolla tai jollain ulkomaalaisella kivijalkacasinolla, olet varmasti nähnyt, kuinka suosittuja nämä perinteiset pöytäpelit oikein ovat. Pelaajat rakastavat edelleen niiden verrattain yksinkertaista pelimekaniikkaa, jossa omilla valinnoilla on kuitenkin tärkeä rooli. Säännöt ja strategia on siis syytä opetella kunnolla, jotta saa peleistä kaiken irti.

Live-casinot tuovat nämä suosikkipelit casinopelaajien ulottuville ympäri maailman. Ne toimivat perinteisten netticasinoiden sisällä omina osioinaan, joihin ei tarvitse luoda erillistä tiliä. Avaamalla tilin netticasinolle saa käyttöönsä myös sen live-casinon – tai live-casinot.

Live Beyond Live – askel kohti aitoa virtuaalista casinokokemusta

Tässä artikkelissa katsastamme yhden Suomen suosituimman casinon, Mr Greenin, uuden live-casinopalvelun, jota kutsutaan vaikuttavalla nimellä ”Live Beyond Live”. Se ei korvaa Mr Greenin jo olemassa olevaa live-casinoa vaan pyrkii tarjoamaan vielä aidomman kokemuksen niille pelaajille, joille perinteinen live-casinokaan ei ole tarpeeksi. Vaan onko herra Vihreä yhtä tyylikäs livenä kuin kampanjoissaan?

Jos olet seurannut pelialaa viime vuosina, saatat muistaa, kuinka suuren hypen saattelemana virtuaalilasit otettiin vastaan. Moni casino alkoi välittömästi suunnitella omaa virtuaalista 3D-peliympäristöään, jossa hyödynnettäisiin virtuaalilaseja, kuten Oculus Riftiä. Idea oli hyvä, mutta toteutus tuntui jäävän kaikilla hieman puolitiehen.

Tästä ei kuitenkaan voi varsinaisesti syyttää casinoita. Virtuaalilaseilla pelaaminen ei ainakaan vielä ole ottanut juurikaan tulta alleen, sillä teknologian taso ja hinta eivät ole oikein tasapainossa. Vaikka Oculus on saanut hyviäkin uutisia, kuten huhtikuussa julkaistava Skyrim VR, joka tukee Oculus Riftiä, lienee hinta kuitenkin sunnuntaipelaajille edelleen liikaa. Esimerkiksi Oculus Rift ja Touch -paketista joutuu edelleen Oculuksen kotisivujen mukaan maksamaan 449 euroa. Ja kun ihmiset jättivät virtuaalilasit hyllyyn, haudattiin idea virtuaalisesta 3D-pelaamisesta myös useimmilla casinoilla hetkeksi.

Mr Greenin Live Beyond Live ei pyri aloittamaan virtuaalilasibuumia uudelleen. Se ottaa sen sijaan fiksusti idean parhaat puolet käyttöönsä ja muokkaa niistä jo yleisessä käytössä olevan nykyteknologian mukaisen tyylikkään sekoituksen. Pelaajat liikkuvat 3D-peliympäristössä ja pelaavat virtuaalisessa casinohuoneessa, mutta kaikki toimii silti nopeasti ja sulavasti, eikä lisälaitteita tarvita. Kaikki modernit älypuhelimet ja tabletit ovat tuettujen laitteiden listalla, joten kuka tahansa voi astua sisään tähän casinomaailmaan missä ja milloin vain.

Tervetuloa Los Angelesiin!

Virtuaalinen casino on siitä mukava paikka, että se voi sijaita missä tahansa. Mr Greenillä on päätetty sijoittaa Live Beyond Live sellaiseen paikkaan, jossa maisemia kelpaa katsella pidempäänkin. Los Angeles on tähän oiva valinta, ja yhteen sen luksuskattohuoneistoista on nyt viritetty tyylikäs pieni casino. Taustalla näkyy öisen kaupungin valoja ja taivasta, jota valaisevat lentokoneet sekä nousevat ja laskevat helikopterit.

Live Beyond Live sisältää kirjoitushetkellä neljä pelipöytää (kaksi rulettia, kaksi blackjackia), joiden ääressä kortteja jakavat ja rulettipyörää pyörittävät oikeat jakajat. Fyysisesti heitä ei toki ole Los Angelesiin saakka lennätetty, mutta virtuaalinen peliympäristö mahdollistaa sen, että pöydät pelinhoitajineen vaikuttavat todella sijaitsevan tyylikkäässä kattohuoneistossa.

Ei mikään aavecasino

Jakajien ja pelipöytien lisäksi casinolla liikkuu myös ihmisiä. Virtuaalicasinoilta tuttuun tyyliin pöytien ääressä istuvat pelaajat ovat todella paikalla, ja voit seurata heidän pelaamistaan samaan aikaan kuin pelaat itse. Neljä pöytää on viritetty pienehköön tilaan niin, että reaaliaikainen videokuva kattaa kerralla ainakin pöydän tai pari. Näin voit katsoa, kuinka muut voittavat viereisissä pöydissä, tai muuttaa kanssapelaajasi kateudesta vihreiksi osumalla itse suurvoittoon. Casinolla pyörii menossa mukana myös Mr Green itse – siis sivuston mainoskampanjoista tuttu vihreään pukuun sonnustautunut herrasmies.

Oman pelipöydän valitseminen onnistuu kahdella tapaa. Nopeimmin uuden pöydän saa valittua yksinkertaisesti klikkaamalla sitä omalla näytöllään. Jos istut esimerkiksi blackjack-pöydässä, mutta haluat siirtyä hetkeksi ruletin pariin, napauta vain pelaajasymbolia kyseisen pöydän ääressä. Pääset siirtymään uuteen pöytään välittömästi, ja olet valmis pelaamaan seuraavalla kierroksella.

Jos haluat kokea vielä aidomman casinoelämyksen, voit lähteä tallustamaan ympäri kattohuoneistoa minikartan avulla. Sen kautta näet kaikki jakajat ja pöytien tiedot, jotta sopivan tuolin valitseminen on helpompaa.

Pöydän vaihtaminen tuo pelaamiseen mukavaa vaihtelua, sillä samalla vaihtuu myös kamerakulma, josta casinoa katselet. Jos esimerkiksi haluat seurata ison panoksen pelejä, mutta jatkaa silti omaa pelaamistasi, voit valita pienemmän panostason pöydän, josta on suora näköyhteys haluamaasi pöytään.

Näin se toimii

Kuten sanottua, Mr Greenin Live Beyond Live on saatavilla ainoastaan mobiililaitteille. Mitään erillistä ohjelmistoa ei tarvitse ladata, mutta pelitili on luotava ennen pelaamisen aloittamista. Toisin kuin tavalliset casinopelit, live-casinopelit eivät ole yleensä kokeiltavissa ilmaiseksi, ja samaa koskee myös Live Beyond Liveä. Sinun on siis tehtävä casinolle pieni talletus, jotta pääset voittamaan virtuaalimuodossa.

Kun tili on avattu, pääset pelaamaan nopeasti. Avaa vain virtuaalicasino, valitse pöytäsi ja istu jollekin vapaista tuoleista. Panoksen valitseminen onnistuu rullaamalla laitteesi ruutua hieman alaspäin. Ole tarkkana, jotta ehdit valita oikean panoksen, ennen kuin pelikierros alkaa – muuten kierros jää sillä kerralla välistä.

Pelisysteemin oppii todella nopeasti, joten Live Beyond Liveä voi huoletta suositella hieman kokemattomammillekin nettipelaajille. Kyseessä on onnistunut kokonaisuus jo nyt, ja jäämme mielenkiinnolla odottamaan, laajeneeko konsepti jatkossa esimerkiksi uusien pelien merkeissä. Ja ehkäpä ne virtuaalilasitkin tulevat vielä…

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Finnish stand up comedian Ismo shows us how ass is the most complicated word in English language

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Articles Blogs FREE! Blog Misc

Helsinki celebrating New Year and the beginning of the 100th anniversary celebrations!

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Antonio's blog Blogs

R.I.P. David Bowie

Today one of the greatest artists of the last century, David Bowie, passed away at the age of 69.

I had the luck to see him for first and last time performing live during the year 2004 at Provinssirock festival in Finland. A very fun festival with great environment. Being 24 years old, as you can imagine, the fun was just equally enjoying the music and also the booze and pretty girls around. It was a rainy weekend, but when Bowie appeared on stage the sun appeared on the horizont.

Lizard Dusk

I was not even a huge David Bowie fan at that time, knew a few of his famous songs, but I was at that point more into hard rock and epic heavy metal. However, Bowie not only captivated me, but the whole audience. His charisma on stage was unbelievable, joking with the audience, moving like the star he was, making everybody have a great time putting the cherry on top of the cake to a superb weekend of music. I can certainly say after many years, many concerts and many artists checked live after that night, that Bowie was probably the artist that most unexpectedly blew my mind when I saw him first time live.

Few days after that concert Bowie’s health got worse and he never stepped on stage again, although recently he had released a new album. However, his music and his memories will remain among us. In the years to come, I will always remember with a smile on my face that I was there, I saw the man with the million faces on stage making the audience fall in love. And that piece of memory will remain. Rest in piece Ziggy!

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Antonio's blog Articles Blogs Misc

“Choke”, probably the best documentary on MMA ever made

Nowadays Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) is a well recognized sport that provokes admirationa nd moves a good amount of money and fans around the world. Right at my office we can have a discussion with my co-workers about Ronda Rousey´s defeat or Emelianenko coming back from retirement like if we would be talking about the latest football match. UFC is a big organization in USA, you can see reality shows in TV channels where future fighters are getting prepared to go pro, the fighters are multidisciplinary athletes that can both perform great standing up, kicking, punching or going to the ground and working on submission techniques…

But if we take a look back not so many years ago, mixed martial arts were pretty much unknown to the great sports public and most of people who had heard about it would consider it a brutal activity done by some crazy violent people. The Gracie family was one of the pioneers to expand MMA to the big audience, and at the same time promote their Gracie Brazilian Jiu Jitsu style, and Rickson Gracie was the jewel of the crown for the family, never officially defeated in any fight before.

What “Choke”, a documentary shot during a Vale Tudo fighting tournament in Japan in 1995 and released in 1999, shows is a period where mixed martial arts was growing and in development, where the fighters were still not so well rounded in multiple disciplines but were more defending their different styles of fighting and where you could see a more brutal way of fighting than nowadays, where the rules are much more measured. At that time, pretty much everything except of hitting the genitals of the opponent would be allowed between fighters.

“Choke” counts with a wide array of memorable moments for the spectator. Apart from the usual and a bit boring ranting from Gracie family members always self promoting their style, you see the real Rickson gracie backstage between fights. The documentary revolves about his figure: masculine, handsome, dominant. But he also shows that outside that facade, he is also like the rest of the fighter human, nevous before a fight, sometimes humble, sometimes big-mouthed.

As some mythical scenes and moments to remember we can see Rickson godalike enjoying the energy of the freezing water under a cascade in a Japanese river, his umbelievable training and movement of his abdominal muscles like they would not belong to his body (maybe you remember to have watched exactly the same if you saw “The Hulk” movie with Edward Norton training with Rickson in Brazil), the recognition in front of the camera of holding the rule not to have sex with his wife 2 weeks prior a fight, the moment at the fighting venue when he surprises his brothers telling he literally needs to take a crap seconds before having to go to the arena to fight, Rickson throwing Yamamoto during his first fight out of the ring noticeably pissed off at him for holding on the ropes all the time, his cat flip on the air during his fight with Kimura (his son Rockson, sadly deceased years after this documentary on a motorbike accident, commenting in the dressng room that he saw him flying like Superman) the moment before the final of the the fight when suddenly he says he wants next time to get a belt as a champion instead of a trophy…

Choke Rickson Gracie

The show however gets partially stolen from Rickson by the other finalist of the fighting tournament, the small but brave Japanese Yuki Nakai. A small wrestling specialist that subsequently will lose the vision in one eye due to his fight with Gerard Geordeau (who will pass to the history as one of the dirtiest MMA fighters ever stepping onto a ring) who soccer kicked him on the head and gouged on his right eye. Nakai shows a total lack of concert about his own health, and as a true samurai, challenges guys double his size. He also became a legend by hiding for years that this tournament provoked him to be blind in one eye for the rest of his life just to protect the reputation of mixed martial arts. On favour of Rickson Gracie, we have to say that he avoided as much as possible punching Nakai on the face and moved the fight just to a grappling match.

The documentary is not the best technically shot, neither has the best structure or dialogues. But nowadays you cannot deny is an instant classic to understand the roots of MMA sport. And the best is that is fully available for free in Youtube to watch. Enjoy:

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Concerts FREE! Blog Music

Swiss Metallers Herod Debut New Video On Noisey Ahead Of Deathcrusher Tour!

Teutonic Quartet’s New Clip Announce Ahead Of Support Slot on Deathcrusher Tour With Carcass, Napalm Death, Obituary & Voivod This Winter!

Swiss noise mongers Herod have premiered their latest video, Northern Lights, through Noisey on October 13th ahead of their upcoming slot as part of the stunning Deathcrusher tour; opening for legendary death metallers Carcass, grindcore overlords Napalm Death, Floridian extremists Obituary and Canadian thrash gods Voivod!

The video can be seen here – http://noisey.vice.com/alps/music-video-premieres/exklusive-videopremiere-herod-northern-lights-224

Herod

The dates for the tour are:

Friday, 23 October – Wulfrun Hall – Wolverhampton, UK
Saturday, 24 October – Barrowlands – Glasgow, UK
Sunday, 25 October – Limelight 1 – Belfast, Northern Ireland
Monday, 26 October – Vicar Street – Dublin, Ireland
Tuesday, 27 October – Motion – Bristol, UK
Wednesday, 28 October – Northumbrian University – Newcastle, UK
Thursday, 29 October – The Forum – London, UK
Friday, 30 October – The Ritz – Manchester, UK
Saturday, 31 October – Trixzaal – Antwerpen, Belgium
Monday, 2 November – Live Music Hall – Köln, Germany
Tuesday, 3 November – L’Usine – Geneva, Switzerland
Wednesday, 4 November – Longhorn – Stuttgart, Germany
Thursday, 5 November – Folimanka Hall – Prague, Czech Republic
Friday, 6 November – The Factory – Magdeburg, Germany
Saturday, 7 November – Aalborg Metal Festival – Aalborg, Denmark
Sunday, 8 November – Tradgar’n – Gothenburg, Sweden
Monday, 9 November – Arenan – Stockholm, Sweden
Wednesday, 11 November – B90 – Gdansk, Poland
Thursday, 12 November – Rprogresija – Warsaw, Poland
Friday, 13 November – Täubchenthal – Leipzig, Germany
Saturday, 14 November – Music Hall – Gieselwind, Germany
Sunday, 15 November – Simm City – Vienna, Austria
Monday, 16 November – Backstage – Munich, Germany
Tuesday, 17 November – Estragon Club – Bologna, Italy
Thursday, 19 November – Schlachthof – Wiesbaden, Germany
Friday, 20 November – Astra Kulturhaus – Berlin, Germany
Saturday, 21 November – Speedfest – Eindhoven, Holland
Sunday, 22 November – Garage – Saarbrucken, Germany
Monday, 23 November – La Cigale – Paris, France
Tuesday, 24 November – Le Transbordeur – Lyon, France
Thursday, 26 November – Sala Riviera – Madrid, Spain
Friday, 27 November – Cine Teatro – Lisboa, Portugal
Saturday, 28 November – Sala Santana 27 – Bilbao, Spain
Sunday, 29 November – Sala Razzmatazz – Barcelona, Spain

Initially the brainchild of guitarist Pierre Carroz, Herod formed in Switzerland back in 2011 and have since gone on to carve a solid niche for themselves in the realm of head crushingly heavy metal with their 2014 release “They Were None”. Recorded by renowned Swiss producer Julien Fehlmann (The Ocean, Coilguns and Unfold) and mastered by Svante Försback (Volbeat and Rammstein), “They Were None” was met with universal praise by the media, and has seen the band go on to tour Europe a number of times.

Be sure to catch this stunning outfit this winter when they rip a blackhole through Europe with some of the finest extreme metal bands on the planet!

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Steven Tyler and the street musicians

The charismatic leader of Aerosmith, Steven Tyler, seems to enjoy surprising street musicians wherever he goes. If not so long time ago, you could have seen him in the heart of Helsinki replacing a street musician in a curious set of bottles (which you can still see nowadays played every day if you walked around Aleksanterinkatu street), there are other famous viral videos circulating in Youtube where he joins a couple of beautiful classic street musicians in the streets of Vilnius, the capital or Lithuania, or more recently, when he surprises another musician in Moscow and starts to sing his hit “I do not want to miss a thing“. Steven, what a legend both on stage and on the streets!!!

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Blogs FREE! Blog Outside Finland Travel

The Formula for Happy Traveling

Backpacking has become one of young Finns’ favorite hobby. Born under the Aurora Borealis, nature’s own spectacular light show, people are later willing to travel a great distance to chase other wonders of the world. Perhaps you, too, have always wanted to hike the Inca Trail to see the first rays of sun falling on the ancient city of Machu Picchu in Peru? Or maybe it is walking along the Great Wall of China or imagining gladiators fighting for their lives at the Roman Colosseum that truly thrills you?

To a number of people being on the road is a life choice. For some, it symbolizes the ultimate freedom and detachment from material things, while others focus on broadening their horizon, having an experience that can later be told to friends with great excitement and nostalgia. And who would not want to have their picture taken next to a breath-taking scenery, an exotic animal or a new friend with whom to communicate only by using sign language?

While it is true that places the essence of which even the best cameras cannot quite capture exist in this world, witnessing these locations requires initiative and effort. Maybe you have always wanted to travel more, but other commitments and duties, perhaps financial, have put the long-needed decisions on ice?

Luckily, there are solutions. To secure the success of your trip of a lifetime you just need to navigate to the best online deals to save money on your travel arrangements

Backpacker

Today flying is an ever-cheaper option to reach distant continents. Affordable flight tickets are compared for you by different websites, which does not only save up your time, but helps you to spot the best prices at a glance. And it does not end there. In order to really help you manage the budget of your unforgettable journey-to-be, Internet also offers you coupon codes to save on your flight reservation. Look out for the codes prior to reservation and be surprised at the checkout.

While some independent travelers are adventurous enough to choose camping or couchsurfing as a form of accommodation, the rest of us appreciate a fun yet clean hostel or a good-quality hotel. After all, a good night’s sleep is essential to enjoy new sites. Perhaps you have already browsed through a few websites and picked a couple of accommodation alternatives for your trip based on prices and reviews? What if you got told that the cost of your future stay might not be as final as your decision to book it? To lower the price of hostels and hotels all over the world you only need to look for vouchers. Suddenly the minimum effort of simply noting down a short voucher code to get 10% discount starts to seem a small price to pay.

Experienced traveler or not, the most important thing is that you are hungry for a new experience and always keep an open mind. Leaving the cozy comfort zone is never easy, but there are things that help. Whether you wish to encounter the new world by yourself or with a friend, a good gear is an essential companion to any thrill-seeker. You might notice that the nearer your trip, the more you flick through web shops offering adventure-proof clothing, trekking gear or sports equipment. In order to live up to the title of a true budget-traveler, it is worthwhile to keep an eye for discount codes. They give the finishing touch to organizing and financing your journey budget-friendly and hassle-free.

Before you know it, you will be making your dreams come true.

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Blogs FREE! Blog

Tinder in Finland from a male perspective (Part 1).

Yes, I use Tinder and I am not ashamed of it. I am not alone, many single (and a few non single people) use it too. The story usually goes as a friend recommends you to use it and you give it a try, as was my case when a couple of friends mentioned it the same week.

The trend to have dates from online apps is increasing in Finland and in many other countries although there is still a certain taboo to talk about it. But the reality is here, we live in a fast paced world busy with work and hobbies and studies and friends and there is a point where is not so easy to find nice interesting people in everyday life. Here applications such as Tinder make our life easier, simple to use and start chatting with people you consider attractive.

I want to divide this series of articles about Tinder in two parts. The second part will go to share simple but effective tips to other male users about what I think that works the best and what not in Tinder when you are a male user in Finland. This first part I just wanted to share my thoughts about the many female profiles I have seen through the months.

I want to make clear that I write this as a sarcastic and humoristic article. We are far from surprised when we see in women’s magazines articles about what the men SHOULD NOT do in a date or in their profiles online, but we seem to forget how funny can be to apply those rules when you see Tinder from male eyes. So I just wanted to write a list of what NOT TO DO for women who would use Tinder. I guess that some people could be offended for what is written here. Please do not. Just take it not so seriously as a male opinion, some things said here could be agreed by many other men or some women and some things here are very personal views that maybe are totally distorted, but at the bottom, this is just to put a smile on your face when you reflect about what is written here and maybe a thought could come to your mind such as “I have seen that in a profile too!

WHAT NOT TO DO FOR WOMEN IF YOU HAVE A TINDER PROFILE. 18 GOLDEN TIPS ON THINGS TO IMPROVE THAT YOU COULD SEE IN A WOMAN’S PROFILE:

1. Please put a photo there if you want to use your profile.

Empty profiles with no photos do not say anything to us men. We are visual animals, we are not going to like your profile thinking that you can be the shy princess of our dreams and when we chat, then you will send an amazing picture of a beautiful lady. We want to see how you look like, and we want to see it clear, not with a blurry photo or a photo copied from a Disney movie. If your profile is empty, we will think you are just stalking here for the sake of it, which in some cases could be true.

2. Social yes, but no need to overdo it.

It is cool you show a photo with your friends, but there is no need that you are surrounded by friends in every photo. In fact, if that happens, we will not know who you are among the group. Also, if your friends are hotter than you, that is not going to play in your favour, as most of guys will think that would be nicer to date your friend than you. Post one photo with friends if you wish to show you are not a loner, but think which one you choose.

2. We do not like pictures where you appear with other guys in a loving attitude.

I have seen all kind of these pictures, from some with the gay friends to others that look obvious you appear with the ex boyfriend (or maybe still boyfriend) or the ex husband. This is a dating site and it is really a turn off for a man to see you looking with loving puppy eyes to other guy. Special mention to those women who post photos with a wedding dress or in a wedding ceremony. Most guys will reject your profile faster than you said yes to your ex husband in your wedding ceremony.

3. No children please.

You cannot imagine the amount of women’s profiles that show photos of their babies and children. Children are great, we agree, I love my daughter’s children. The problem is that I do not think that a dating app. is a place to post photos of your children. You do not know who is looking at the other side and nowadays takes 1 second to take a screenshot of a photo. Yes, I understand many women want to make clear they “come with a package” and they have family, but honestly, you can tell about that later when chatting. And if the point to show your children is that you are secretly looking for the next father, relax, 95% of the guys do not want that kind of pressure from date one.

I come with a package

5. The gym selfies.

Many women have told me they find stupid the male’s profiles where they take selfies without t-shirt in the gym. Well, these kind of pictures are also commonly posted by girls. Imagine actually how ridiculous is the situation to have to stand in front of your gym’s mirror waiting for nobody to being around to snap a photo of the great workout you just had… Yes, surely we like fit women, but you do not need to post all your five profile photos at the gym. As far as you look nice and take care of yourself, in fact we do not give a fuck if you do a lot of sports or not, off the record for many guys is actually a turn off if you happen to have more muscles than them. So it is cool you like doing sports but no need to show only that side of your life, if you happen to live all day every day at the gym, then probably you are missing other important things in life, like reading a good book…

4. “I love my pets among all the things on the surface of the Earth.”

Yes, you have cats or dogs and you love them. Sure, we men love animals too. But we do not get depressed when our cat suffers from diarrhea. Point here is that surely a photo with your cat or dog is cute, but there is no need to post all five with them. It will end up giving us the impression that you are suffering some case of life crisis where you do not have much social life and you get surrounded by animals to balance the lack of affection from friends or lovers. Which could not be such a wrong shot in some cases…

5. I want to look ugly on purpose so you will fall in love with me just for who I truly am inside!

We do not need that you look like the Queen of Saba in your first profile picture, but surely we men like if you post a nice photo, not blurry and not wearing your most horrible pyjamas while putting a mockery face to the camera. This is a dating app. Try to present yourself at your best. And please smile, it does not cost so much and it makes a huge difference.

8. The cliché sentences in the description.

“I am selfish, impatient and a little insecure… etc etc”. Do those lines ring a bell? Probably, as the infamous words by Marilyn Monroe appear copied in one of every twenty female profiles you see around.

Well, let me break the news from you. First, you are not Marilyn Monroe, sadly but she is dead. The same I happen not to be George Clooney or Brad Pitt. And most of rational men would hopefully run away from people who are selfish, impatient and insecure. So if you think that those lines from Marilyn define your personality, I would say that you have a problem in your life and you should seek for assistance. There are other classics that most women use like “Live, love laugh” or super philosophical things like “you make your own luck” or “you can be as happy as you choose to be” etc.

Well, all those great lines really do not say much to us men. We do not choose how happy we are when we have a huge loan to pay back to the bank or our boss is busting our balls at the office on daily basics. If we would choose to be happy, then we would choose to win the Eurojackpot and buy our own island in Caribe surrounded by an army of hot bisexual models that would assist all and every one of our needs. But we cannot choose that. So why don’t you put something nice and simple about what are your tastes and what kind of person you think you truly are? Believe me, if you like sci-fi movies or videogames, you already have gained half of a heart of a man. The other half comes if you give great head, but yeah, we are not expecting that you share that kind of info in your profile description.

Great pic and collaterally showing my ass

9. According to most tall girls in Tinder, short guys can shoot themselves and die fast.

Classic beginning of a profile description: “1.76 cm” followed by some other couple of words. So like really..? The most important feature of yourself is how tall you are? Yes, I know I know is a clear message that says “I do not like shorter guys than me”. Well girl, in that case, you are really missing to get to know a lot of great guys out there. I personally find so impolite when the first sentence a girl writes to you is to ask “how tall are you?” How would a woman feel if a man wrote in the description that only expects to meet girls with boobs DD size and up?

Height is something that a man cannot change, same than age. Remember girls your ex was probably a tall guy and that did not stop him from being a fucking asshole. It is not like you gain more neurones per centimetre grown…

10. Posting the same photo.

You have 4 photos posted in your profile and they are just the same photo repeated 4 times. We got the idea with the first one, thank you.

11. Everybody can follow how mega super hyper cool I am in Instagram.

This is almost a rule in the description field of most hot young girls, to include in the description field their Instagram user name. I personally do not use Instagram, but even if I use it, I do not see the point in Tinder. Yes, we already saw in your pics in Tinder that you look fine, then what we want is chat with you and set a date. We do not need to see your other 100 photos in Instagram of your cats, what you prepare for breakfast and how nice was the beach in Thailand where you were last summer. Maybe some chicks just expect a model hunter recognizes them as the next super top model. Probably many just do it to show off because girls love attention, we have to recognize it. Point is that we do not care so much what is your Instagram account. Say something about yourself instead: are you a person with a good heart, friend of her friends, faithful and trustful? At least those features seemed to matter not so long time ago apart from how great you look tanned at the beach…

Remember that Tinder is full of beautiful young girls and competence is ferocious. Try to make a difference and show that you are more than a nosed up girl who only craves attention.

12. “Why am I framed as an easy party girl?”

Number one complaint of women in Tinder is probably that most guys want sex. Well, I do not want to enter to argue about that, as I do not like the old cliché of “all men being perverts and all women innocent flowers”. I guess everybody likes sex in good company when chemistry kicks in. But the perception of the guys is not gonna be exactly as you are girlfriend material if your pics, specially your profile pic, shows yourself half naked or with your boobs about to jump out of your dress, or if in every one of your five photos you are holding an alcoholic beverage and partying in the club. And yeah, for us men there is no big difference between you wearing a tiny bikini and sexy underwear, we know the tiny bikini it is just the socially accepted way you can show most of your flesh. Just saying.

Note: profiles with photos of beautiful women that state in the description they want straight sex and contain a url link to a site are 100% always fake.

I never seem to find suitable clothes to cover myself

13. “I have so super healthy lifestyleeee and you have to be like me.|

Yes, you are addicted to gym, you do yoga and drink smoothies and you do not smoke. Great for you. A man does not need to be like you. Men want to date a girl, but that does not mean we want to go to train every day to the gym with that girl or we have to quit smoking because of you or not drinking beer anymore or having to join zumba lessons just cause you love it. It is good you take care of yourself. Just do not make it an obsession like if any man who does not live as healthy as you is not worthy to talk to.

14. I love travelling!

Well, guess what, everybody loves travelling! But sadly most people have to work to pay bills, so it is not like you can travel every week. I appreciate well-travelled women as it really avoids having a narrow-minded perception of the world, but really, you do not need to show off in all your photos how many amazing trips you have done. The sad reality is that probably most of the days after work you just arrive home, put on the pyjamas and lay on the sohva watching your favourite TV series and eating candy while daydreaming of that prince in shiny armour, tall, sporty, rich, kind and amazing lover that you never seem to find in Tinder.

15. Flashback in time.

In the first photo you look cute and thin and then in every next picture you look older and older and more overweight. Yeah, it is true we men are a bit blind to notice changes in women, but believe me, if your first pic is taken 15 years younger than the last one, we will notice. And unfortunately for overweighed girls, just because you post photos showing only your face, it does not mind we will not realize what you are trying not to show there.

16. “I am just looking for new friends!”

Right, maybe you want to make it believe that to your friends, couple, husband or even in some kind of self denial to yourself. But we know this is a dating app. and you are scanning the market if “somebody special” pops up to spice up your life. And deep inside you, you know it too…

17. “I am just looking for a serious boyfriend, not casual dating nor one night stands”

Is not putting a little bit of too much pressure from first date to look for only your next husband (or ex husband). Besides, probably 80% who say they do not look for one night stands from Tinder is because actually they have had one night stands with guys from Tinder.

You are going to be my next ex husband

18. The men hater style.

Other classical female profile, usually posting sexy photos while telling in the description how she hates players and she knows everything as she has been around followed by a long list of the kind of guys that is better never to meet. Well, this is a dating app., so is this not about going with open mind to meet interesting people how this should work?

If your view is that all men suck, then maybe you should not use Tinder or just select to see other female profiles if you are into women. There are some lines I have seen in women’s profiles such as “I love more my dogs than any man I have met” that are really offensive and sexist towards men, and probably if a man would write something similar about women, he would be labelled in 0.1 seconds as a chauvinistic pig. A man should not have to apologize for being a man the same that no woman should have to apologize for being a woman; equality rules as far as there is respect.

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And after that list, many readers could think. Ok, so then men do not like any kind of profile at all? Not true. I am not going to deny that most men are simple straightforward creatures, so probably just with a couple of very sexy pics, you will have the 95% of male matches secured. But we are talking here not just about the looks, but about how to present yourself attractive in general as a quality woman, not just like a piece of ass in a thong to have men fantasizing about you.

Having a nice and attractive female profile is not so difficult, and in fact women know much better than men how to select the photos that suit them best. Just select some photo where you look nice, no need to overdo it with the sexiest dress in the world or tones of make up but make the effort to select a photo where you feel pretty at your best and you have made an effort to look good, just with some nice photos of you and one of a hobby would do, followed by some short description of what floats your boat, what are your passions, hobbies or what kind of people you would like to meet. No need to write the Bible there either, you can chat more later. Be honest, be friendly and be nice. And if you have good sarcastic sense of humor, show that too, we men love a woman with good sense of humour who does not take things too serious and is not a drama queen.

There will be farther a lot of time to chat or talk face to face and get to know each other. Remember, try not to be too bitchy from the beginning, because in fact, when your profile is dismissed, there are tones of other pretty girls in the line. So be yourself, be positive, be friendly and be a bit flirty too if you wish so. There are many cool guys out there waiting for your match, and life is too short to waste great company!

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Candy Test from Finland Video

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What you always wanted to know about public bus transportation in Helsinki (and never dared to ask)

Written by Antonio Diaz

So here you are! You just arrived to the capital of Finland. It can be for studying a few months or a few years, for visiting a friend, a relative or a lover, just for a few hours before continuing your trip somewhere else, a new job, a permanent life here… In any case, once you step out of the airport, bus or train station, there is a lively city out there to discover and probably some distance to your destination.

Taxi prices in Helsinki can be considered everything but cheap, tram is nice for a ride but extremely slow, train network is improving but still insufficient… so there they are! Painted in white and blue, reaching all neighborhoods of the big capital area and running almost at any time of the day and night: the public buses!

FREE! Magazine gives you 20 helpful and funny tips so from the first time you step on a bus in Helsinki, you can feel at ease like a local!

Helsinki public bus

1. The main Helsinki Public Transportation office is located at the heart of the city in the metro station down the Railway Station. If you will stay for long time, the easiest way to travel is getting a transport card that can be loaded with just a selected amount of money or monthly. And they allow you to choose your favorite color, how cool is that!

2. Students (holding Finnish student cards) get half the price when loading the transportation card. In general, they always get 50% of discount traveling around Finland. So find any excuse to start or never leave your studies! And second saving money tip, line 615 will also take you to and from the Vantaa airport to Helsinki centre much cheaper than the buses provided by the flight companies.

3. So now you are at the bus stop ready for your first bus trip. Congratulations! Many around the city count with a digital board where you can easily check the minutes remaining for the bus to arrive, controlled by GPS. But watch out, although they usually work like charm, they are not always accurate. Technology is not always an exact science! Just in case, you will also find paper printed timetables in every bus stop.

4. Buses are VERY punctual in Helsinki. If it is written that will leave at 15:38, it will leave at 15:38. So be punctual to be on time at the stop. Of course as good Murphy’s Law, when some foreign friends come to visit you and you brag about the great punctuality of the buses, then the bus will be exceptionally late and you and your friends will freeze your asses at -25 degrees waiting half an hour for the next one…

5. There is a very easy to use mobile application called “Reittiopas” that will show you the fastest route on your phone when you just type your destination address.

6. At winter while you wait for the bus with your nose getting frozen, you would expect at least a small shelter in every bus stop that would protect you from that hard snowstorm falling, right? Nope, forget about it, a simple post marking the stop point will suffice and you will find no cover in the middle of the forest from the snow trying to bury you alive. Thankfully as we pointed before, the buses are punctual, so try to be on time, but do not try to be too early when it is minus 30 degrees out there and it is snowing like there is no tomorrow!

Helsinki public bus

7. The non-written rule while waiting the bus is to keep as much distance as possible from the other people waiting. Do not expect a clear organization to form the queue; it does not matter if you were the first one waiting for the bus. People do not mind trying to enter from any direction once the bus approach, so sharpen your skill to foresee the exact spot where the bus will stop!

8. Do not worry if you do not speak perfect Finnish when trying to communicate with the bus driver. Many of them are actually foreigners and in general almost all of them can speak good English. In any case, if you do not have to buy the ticket directly from them, your only interaction is placing your card in front of the reader at the entrance of the bus and, optionally, telling “moi” to the driver. It is up to the good or bad mood of the driver to answer back…

9. Remember what we say about keeping as much space as possible from the other passengers while waiting the bus? Well, now when you step inside the bus, remember one of the most important rules if you do not want to assist to public suicides inside the vehicle: you NEVER sit close to another person as far as there are 2 free seats in another row of the bus. We repeat, NEVER. If you do so, God will erase all the kitten photos from Facebook and Swedish will replace Finnish as the official language of the country. Do not say later we did not tell you!

10. If the bus is full, there will be 3 or more people around you using their mobile phones. If those people are teenage girls, be sure 100% of them will be using their mobile phones.

11. Just because that boy and that girl sitting together in front of you have not exchanged a single word during the whole bus trip, it does not mean they are not happily dating.

12. Alcohol consumption inside the bus is prohibited. However, the rule gets more relaxed during the weekend, depending also how strict the bus driver is. If you do not make a mess and drink sneakily at the bottom of the bus, and you manage not to puke around, everything should be fine. But remember not to smoke inside the bus that will end up no other way than hated by all other passengers and with your bones quickly thrown away outside the bus.

13. Since last couple of years, now if you hold a monthly transport card, you do not need to pay any extra fee for night tickets. A very convenient change, taking into account the extremely expensive prices of taxis in the city. The down side is that it has killed quite a few opportunities to flirt at night with that stranger who wanted to share a cab or was looking at you with puppy eyes to help him/her to pay the night fee ticket.

14. Do not expect that the passenger sitting close to you who needs you to stand aside to exit will communicate this verbally to you. Listening to a small cough, watching him/her punch the stop button or observing the beginning of his body movement separating the ass from the seat should be enough for you to understand that you need to move. Who said verbal communication is needed inside a bus?

Helsinki public bus

15. If there are teenagers sitting close to you in a bus and they happen to be of the talkative kind, you will hear the word “vittu” at least 3 times every 30 seconds.

16. If the driver forgets to stop in the requested stop or open the door, passengers will patiently wait a few seconds before (maybe) managing the braveness to shout at him for the mistake.

17. When there is a sudden break due to an almost accident on the road, you will notice clearly the dissatisfaction of the other passengers listening only to their grunting.

18. If there is an old lady (mummo in Finnish) just trying to punch the transport card in the system, you will always have to wait 1 more minute than normal to enter the bus until the driver finally takes her out of her misery and punches the transport card for her.

19. School children also use public buses to move around the city under the surveillance of their teachers. This probably would be a nightmarish thought for any other adult passenger. However, they usually behave well and make not much noise or hassle. It must be due to the fact that Finnish children do not usually sing in the bus when going on excursions… They wait until they become teenagers to join a heavy metal band.

20. Some people even shout “thanks” before jumping out of the bus, although is not always required. Be nice and show kindness to the driver. You arrive safely and cheaply to your destination! Until the next bus ride!

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Teemu Selänne: A True Finnish Legend

Current season 2013/2014 will probably see the end in the career of Teemu Selänne, who can be accurately considered one of the best and most charismatic Finnish sportsmen of all time.

Having seen him to help the national team to achieve the bronze medal at the recent Winter Olympic Games in Sochi at the amazing age of 43, being nominated as the MVP of the Olympic tournament, FREE! Magazine also wanted to pay his little tribute dedicating an amazing video to the ice hockey legend. Long life to the “Finnish Flash!”

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Huominen on Huomenna. Finnish music MTV style…

Not sure what I find more distorted in this video, if the portray of Finland as being in a beach in Brazil or Spain with drunk Finn brainless wannabe cool teenages on a spring break… or Anna Abreu showing boobies…

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Beauty and the Beast – The true story of Estonian men and women

Written by Gunnar Sorensen

Gunnar Sorensen is a Danish comedian who has been living in Estonia for a couple of years. Here offers exclusively for FREE! Magazine a pick of what you can find in his blog, treating with sense of humor his views on Estonian women and men:

A friend came to visit me in Tallinn and asked very honestly while in a nightclub “Why are there so many prostitutes in here”!!! Before you think we were in a very seedy place, we were not. What he was simply referring to is that Estonian woman are far more attractive than their male counterparts.

So why is it like this? Well for every 100 men in Estonia there are 119 women, rising to almost 130 in the capital city Tallinn, comparing to 1/1 in Sweden. This phenomenon creates a high demand and competition for available men.

So how beautiful are the women? Well Estonia has the highest number of international models per capita than any nation in the world. When walking the streets of Tallinn you will not just notice the beauty of the women, but also the sheer number of beauty salons created to cater to their need.

Estonian Women

So guys, sound like the perfect country? Well it gets better. All those hours you spent in the gym, that funky new haircut, the expensive suit etc…! In Estonia you don’t need that!! Well with the vast surplus of women that classic image of the man chasing the women has been reversed. So you can put on your comfortable sports trousers and that favourite old hooded jumper and still get the girl!!

This lack of effort needed by Estonian men to get a girlfriend is summed up by this pick up line I heard an Estonian man say one evening “Do you like having sex with men?”

Not only is the girl hotter and easier to get with, you know that night out you want to go on with your friends, guess what? She will let you go!!

I know you are asking, before I quit my job and get on the ferry, what’s the catch?
Well did you know that Estonian men live on average just 69 years, the lowest in the whole of the EU! A large part of the reason behind this is typified in the popular joke ¨ That awkward moment when an Estonian man is sober”. Considering all the attractive girls and all the fun you can have, it sounds like a reasonable sacrifice right??? Maybe not….
That idea of the perfect wife, family and home you had in your mind it is not likely to happen in Estonia. Present figures show that in Tallinn alone 80% of high school students are living in single parent families.

Akarusa Yami

Although us men would almost certainly unite in saying having a few drinks with our friends would be preffered to putting up those shelves for the mother in law. It is now clear that our Scandinavian women are just helping us to become better men and healthier, husbands and fathers.

For those who want to know more about me and how I came to this conclusion. I am a Danish citizen who has been living in Tallinn, Estonia for the past 2 years. I work in the Finance sector, but since arriving in Estonia it is the psychological aspect of the people that has most interested me.

I noticed almost instantly the cold and serious nature of Estonians, however what struck me must profoundly was the countries lack of laughter. With no real comedy shows on TV and no internationally known comedian. I found out very quickly that the only people trying to make Estonia laugh were foreigners.

Although the humour of my blog has encountered some negativity in the Estonian press. It would be hard to find a comedian who has not experienced that at some point. It is our duty to use humour to test the boundaries and bring those avoided or controversial topics in to daily conversation.

For more humour about Estonian men come and visit my blog:

http://eestimees.wordpress.com/